Why Fyo and Haro need to hook up as soon as possible.

           

Dear Rehab users, it is I, your lord and savior Cloud! My mission here today is not only to end your perpetual boredom but to bring light to a whole new perspective that I believe everyone by now should know about.

 

Noticeably, you already have a clear idea. To start this off, it's Haro's birthday, but this isn't a Haro appreciation room ONLY. No, no, no. You see... Papa Cloud here has bigger plans in store. Not only will this be about Haro, but it will be about a user who we are all very familiar with, that being, Fyo!

In honor of Haro's birthday, I figured that I might as well FINALLY explain why Fyo X Haro, or Haro X Fyo just works. You might think I'm taking a joke too far and that's where I just get extremely offended and therefore, feel the need to demonstrate why this ship works once and for all.

Presumably, you would assume that I would include disclaimers, but that's only when I don't want said users to get offended over by content because what I might say might just be rudely the truth, however, such will not happen here. No disclaimers. Because this is a verdict work of theory and there will be a lot of thinking going on, so stay tuned for that!

Let's start off with simple introductions about the two users. Fyo and Haro. They are both Rehab mods and coincidentally, they have been around here for quite a while. However, Haro was here before Fyo. A couple of days to be exact. Something important to note here is that this just didn't happen now or anything like that. 

If you don't know Haro, then, aside from being a mod, he is quite an interesting person. But surely, the majority of the users don't actually have a way of knowing this. Why is that though? It's because Haro is a mystery. You could try and think about Haro but so many questions would come up instead of surefire answers. How come this is the case? 

Before telling you the answer to that, here is a little background about Haro. The Haro you know today is only a mod because at the time that I got ownership (yes, this chatroom wasn't always mine...) I decided to mod him. Now, it wasn't just a shotgun mod choice or anything of that sort. I have a strict policy when it comes to modding users. They must be psychopaths. So, if you are modded, in my eyes, you are a psycho. Though, I never actually went out of my way to explain to my mods why I think they are psychos... right? Well, that's where things will have to change a little bit today. Given that this still involves Haro's background, I'll fill you in on why Haro is a psychopath and why, later on, that adds immense fuel to the ship.

 

You might think of this as exposing, but the truth is, not even I know the bottom of Haro's deep dark mind and this is only a small surface. To put it simply... Haro is usually a person that's often described under my perception as heavily loyal and has some really good morals. As a matter of fact, I consider him my most loyal mod. No joke here. When it comes to loyalty, he owns this. With that said, he has this really interesting habit of trolling and once he gets into it, he does it for fun. That's fine. I also believe that as long as I'm having fun, that it's fine if my whole room is on fire. But that's me. What about someone that has minimal moralistic tendencies and believes that right should be above wrong no matter the occasion?

Such being the case, you might find yourself questioning why such a good-hearted individual would even go through such lengths in the first place. I said it was for fun, right? Well, the truth is, I don't actually know if that's the case. Haro never really told anyone nor me about it. Because he isn't dumb. He doesn't expose himself in any possible way. Or rather... He sometimes does. Nonetheless, isn't that way too suspicious? Why would someone who is naturally mysterious go out of his way to drop subtle hints like that? To fool the audience? Maybe. To play with our minds? Very likely. 

What's accurate to think about here is that he is evil under certain conditions. Unknown conditions, but let's just say that if he doesn't like you, then you will taste the sting, in ways that you are not expecting. In the end, if you don't know much about someone, you will ultimately label that person as boring. A normal user would flat out call Haro boring for not showing any interesting traits. 

Normally, when it comes to users you are familiar with, you have at least an idea of what they are doing... while they are absent, right? But what exactly does Haro do? No one knows. He could be speaking to Satan for all I know. Someone who you are in theory close to is still mysterious as hell. He is an enigma. But that's because he does that on purpose. Furthermore, Haro will go through the lengths of online stalking without your knowledge. You might think that what you are doing is extremely cautious and all that, but soon enough, you found yourself exposed. 

According to common sense, someone would get exposed if someone wronged Haro, right? Here is the catch. While he might not expose you, this doesn't mean that he doesn't know. Oh no. No, no. Don't you dare fool yourself. In other words, Haro is a very skillful manipulator who can get his hands on anything he actually wants without your consent. The worst part here is that you don't know the whole basis behind his pursuit. In addition to all of this, Haro has the eyes of a killer. From another angle of language, this means that he would most likely own you in real life.

Nevertheless, here is the tricky part. Haro doesn't fully agree with all of this. He even believes that I am exaggerating. Yet he knows that if he disagrees that he will have to justify himself and that would break his mysterious code. Haro is too smart. So smart that you don't know why he's smart in the first place. Moreso, if someone were to realize all of this, they would either be scared or simp for Haro. Unless........... Haro already has a massive simp that doesn't exactly simp for him but in ways, she kinda... does...?

Which brings us to, Fyo! 

Thus far, you might've guessed it, but there is nothing on the surface that just utterly connects all this information to Fyo... Or is there? 

Fyo is everyone's gentle user who is very friendly. Did you know that every blue moon she also roasts you out of nowhere? That's right, just like Haro, when it comes to being unpredictable, they have this undeniable affinity, that no one just seems to capture. Though, why does Fyo roast you every blue moon, exactly? Why not just all the time? A huge difference that Fyo and Haro have is that one is extremely good at not showing the temper inside him, while the other one just isn't as good. Soon enough, you will start to notice that Fyo is like an invisible thicking bomb. You only know you have triggered the detonating button once you fuck up in one way or another. She doesn't just roast you just because. There's obviously a valid reason for the roasting. Regardless of this being a fact, you will not be able to detect that such was the case and you will primarily think that Fyo just did this because she's secretly funny.

Time to enlighten you on HOW that's not the case, AT ALL. As said, you would assume that what she just did to you is something out of hidden comedy or some sort of cryptic alien-like sense of humor, correct? Now, get this for a second... What makes you think that she doesn't know about this perception already? Just think about it for a goddamn second... She acts nice in the first place in order for you to not suspect any sort of second-handed method that was flat out delivered to you, like a bombastic roast, but such was the case. This is a classic method of lying. To apply a soft layer under a stacked hardcore lie. The lie being whatever good she has told you. This doesn't mean that she will just do this to anyone. Just like Haro, her target must've done something to her. Fast forwarding, if you somehow offend Fyo, in times to come, in a time where you will feel rather... happy? Relaxed? Positive? Any sort of feeling that will allow your consciousness to mildly take a break from any sort of negative aspect this world has to offer to you? ROASTED. See, this isn't something that's casually done. It takes a manipulator with a great deal of hatred inside the individual to pull this out. Did Fyo ever justify this? Have you ever wondered why? When you mention the roast, she never explains why that was the case. You won't know why you got roasted, you will just know that you got roasted. Those curious enough to know why they got roasted will question themselves why such was the case, only to find themselves walking in circles.

But, but... This doesn't mean that Fyo, just like Haro, is a psychopath. It could just be my pessimistic mind that associates negative elements with others. Or... Is that actually the case? Let's go over more examples as to why these two individuals have an astonishing affinity.

Retracing a bit, Fyo mentioned that she's sapiosexual. In case you have no clue what that means, it means she's into highly intelligent beings. This could imply that Fyo has been into members of this chatroom who fit the criteria. Rest assured, I actually, in the back of my mind, have a list of the individuals who got a taste of her. Or... tried to get a taste of her. I'll explain why this was an unfortunate case in just a few paragraphs.

Starting off strong would mean to go with someone that had a valid amount of interactions with her and that would be Fallen. Until it became basically a slug-fest to see who was in charge or not. It was strictly confusing and I never considered it a ship in the first place because they were into this weird roleplay that I never said anything about it. I thought that Fyo and Fallen just weren't anything, to begin with until Fallen told in the comments that he was going to write about Fyo on Cringe Club because at that point she was kinda like an ex... Something to take note here is that Fyo's targets are abundantly easy to capture. In the sense where they get attached vastly easy. Obviously, this didn't work out, but what's crucial to notice is that she made Fallen actually attached to the point where he said that he considered her as an ex. Fyo never went that far. At all.

Moving on, we have the most unholy simp on this horrible planet, Whese. Or Kvothe. I really don't give a fuck. If you know him, you know him. Whese is an individual with really low-self-esteem. And it didn't take him long to be attracted to Fyo. In a rather pathetic way. I remember that I could not open my chatroom without him either simping on Fyo or him talking about Fyo while Fyo was absent. As stated in the rules, I don't have anything about romance, but simping? We hate to see it. This would also mean that Fyo would be repelled. Because, someone with decent morals would just dismiss a simp like Whese. Because Whese was clearly not facing reality and was obsessing over someone who didn't even want him. It was so fucking sad to watch that I wanted to gobble my own eyeballs and suffocate on them. But... wait... She didn't do that... She didn't dismiss him. In fact... she kept him by the leech. Call me crazy, but if that mini-drama with me and Whese hadn't happened, then there is a very slight big chance that Whese would still be under her control. This leads us to find a rather peculiar trait about her... She's oddly possessive. Even when she knows what she's doing is wrong, she doesn't abandon her possessions. Never.

Recall a bit, will you? I told you how she's sapiosexual and... The acts that I just described are rather boorish and yawn-worthy. Sure enough, Fyo must've felt those exact same feelings. She gets thrilled when she finds individuals that meet her criteria; the sapiosexual one. Fallen doesn't fit the bit. Hell, she even roasted him on that. No fucking way am I forgetting that. As for Whese, while he may be intelligent, when he simps, he might as well put some clown paint on. Lastly, no offense to my hombre Xibal/Kez, I'm not calling you dumb, but you don't fit the criteria of qualifying for Fyo's sapiosexual criteria. Speaking of him, it was kinda recent. My guy Xibal is really emotional and sensitive. If someone is massively emotional and sensitive then it's proof that they are quick to get attached and while the time might've been short, the scars won't heal. Hence, the Virgo curse. I strictly believe that if you are a Virgo, that you should listen to my advice and just don't interact with romantic hopes when it comes to Fyo. Because she will hook your heart and tilt it in a savage pendulum swing.

Does this by some incredibly precise manner mean that Fyo is a player? You might think I'm defending her by denying the possibility, but here is the truth. She is not a player. Her targets just catch feelings rather easily. She doesn't mess around with those that don't catch feelings easily. Quite sadistic, actually... Although, this is essential to comprehend because you are understanding her standards when it comes to her own preferences. Without this convoluted process, you would be clueless. So, with this said, could Fyo actually try and play Haro like a fiddle if she tried? I doubt it. At the end of the day, they are massively manipulative. By opening to this idea, it would result in utter chaos as their compatibility should, in theory, be zero. Given that they are both contrasts. Even though they have plenty of similar points, psychopaths matched with other psychopaths is the ultimate recipe for disaster. ALAS, what would be the whole point of this simple introduction if I pointed out both of their individualistic features without creating something out of it? That's right, that's right. Remember why I'm still in here. It's to make this succinct and enlighten you as to why this is a match made in heaven, so here we go!

Both Fyo and Haro don't exactly feel comfortable around psychopaths. This is true. They even went out of their own ways to express their discontent. Besides, unless you have some massive issues, you shouldn't either. Despite this, they are oddly comfortable with themselves. Themselves as in, Fyo is comfortable with Haro's presence and vice-versa. Why, why, why? Their ways are so similar. They may enjoy attention but hate basking in expository works such as this. Both are underrated. You might disagree and flat out say that Fyo is not underrated and that the category of "underrated" belongs to Haro only, but that was not my actual point. They portray themselves as individuals who are "low-key". No one likes to be a fool, but some just don't mind it. This is not the case with these two. These two hate being in a state where they are fools, however, they don't mind pretending to be fools. Why not? That's because, in their minds, they are already above you. They don't bother to express this because they don't have to. It's something that they both do. 

Plus, Fyo doesn't like show-offs. Therefore, Haro being underrated is LITERALLY way too perfect. Haro is like that anime character that doesn't do anything at all, but when he does, you know it's gonna be hardcore. On another side note, they both have some noble values. In contrast to their psychotic tendencies, they actually share kind values such as sympathy and loyalty. Both are widely sympathetic and loyal to anyone they are befriended with. Lack of rewards for this unconditional set of different kind traits might lead to them treating you in a not so desired way yet the ultimate point here is that they both have this to their arsenal. 

Everyone likes comedy and let me tell you something here when Haro wants it, he can kill you with his epic sense of humor. Fyo high-key simps on him when this happens. We all saw it, okay? No point in denying. But that's fine. Wasn't it you that said that the first stage was acceptance? Let's go with that. Back to Haro though, I don't think there is a single better male user than him in this chatroom. Not even my goddamn narcissistic personality can swallow this fact. Shall we break his good traits down once again? I'll add a couple more don't worry. Fyo, this is what you can get out of him:

•  Extremely loyal, which means he would not cheat nor lie to you.
•  Treats you with massive respect. For fuck sake, anyone knows this. Guy's account is under such a low rep yet he doesn't rage about it at all.
•  THAT TASTE IS MUSIC YOOOOOOO.
•  Jesus Christ that jaw.
•  Not a bottom.
•  Probably likes dark chocolate.
•  Family values.
•  Emotional but has professional self-control and you want that.
•  Never saw him complaining about the fact that you are a fujoshi so that's a plus.
•  Most likely has the funniest stories ever. Or at least some extremely humanistic real ones.
•  Younger than you.
•  Too real.
•  Fits your sapiosexual agenda.
•  Totally too mysterious for this world. 
•  Introvert but knows how to show off should the occasion demand it.
•  Top tier sarcasm.

For the record, there are way many other factors that I could've gotten over, but this was just to clear Fyo's side. I could go way more personal on this but it would involve me telling personal details and I won't do that. I do respect privacy. 

KIDDING. AS IF.

Listen to me well here, Fyo, Your past crush might not be a pixel on your screen like Haro is, but at least he's there every day. Partially speaking though, I think you are over the guy. Yeah, if I was in your place, I would too. KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE HARO IS THE BEST. Fuck, too hom- Erm, anyways, it does suck that you two don't live in the same country, but then again, I know the both of you think that the "living in the same country" card is a weak card. I'll agree with that. So, Haro, start working and pick her up. Haro is the ultimate treasure to be obtained and Fyo is possessive as hell, so it would be the perfect scenario. But Haro is hard to capture, ergo, it would be a thrill.

Don't get it twisted though. This was just Fyo's side. It is now time to go over Haro's side and why Fyo suits him. This can't be done one-sidedly. 

Damn, finally, I get to concretely talk about the anniversary man himself. Yo, happy birthday, man. I even thought of making a video but got too shy just from that thought. Understand, please. 19 years, right? Big guy. Here is a fact for you... You are entering the age of common depression. Love is not gonna find you. It's the other way around. Being like the rest of the world who believes in the opposite will have you wanting to adjoin a gun to your head later on. Don't doubt me when it comes to knowing that you are here to expect comedy on your birthday. Hey, I just don't have clown paint on because I can't afford it. I'm kidding, it's invisible at this point because there is a trick... If you don't take baths and continue to accumulate clown paint, it will successfully blend in with your skin. Don't tell Jason or else he will get mad at me. You know how other clowns dislike stuff like this, right? Fuck, I'm tired of that. 

Surprisingly enough, I wouldn't be too surprised if you are sick of getting screwed. All of our words that praise you probably don't come without your negative mind doing some pessimistic criticism regarding it. That's the type of guy you are. Listening to emo songs all night while sipping on energy drinks like a true Doomer. That dread feeling of watching users make dramatic statements about their feelings meanwhile you are there all mixed up because you have so many things to tell but you are unsure whether someone will care or not. Bros aside, Fyo would be more than glad, dude. BUT, I KNOW YOU WON'T DO THAT. Mystery persona stuff. No way in hell are you spilling the beans. Why the fuck am I here trying to give you advice anyway? You already won this shit by being born lmao. 

How am I supposed to tell you to do something like manning up when that involves you dropping your entire arsenal? Usually speaking, this would be seen as a cowardly move, but it's weirdly not. Here is why: SHE DOESN'T MIND. Yes, I'm quoting lyrics, shut up. Like, yo, do you actually think she minds this? It's only you that does. Give it a shot, you got this, fam. Maybe you either think that you are too normal or fairly abnormal and that everyone is just gonna flat out be creeped out, but, aren't we under that routine on our daily basis already? 

Not to mention that Fyo said that she doesn't like bald men and you claimed that you would never be bald. If that was an indirect marriage proposal and I was too fucking blind to see it, then I might as well scourge my own throat with my bath towel and hang myself in my old chandelier. Alongside that, there is the fact that you both are just the types of delusionals who believe in true love and that there are certain people in the world that are just waiting for you to come around and that eventually... it's gonna happen. Well, you two would be right, there are people in the world like that. Around you though? Reality check, nope. BUT THAT'S WHY THIS WORKS OUT EVEN BETTER. 

Problems mixed with anxiety can give birth to turbulence, but having someone by your side who goes through the same struggle can turn out to be extremely helpful, Haro. Hey, you know what I'm referring to, right? It's all up to y--- Wait...

We've been here theorizing this whole thing but... Since we've already delved so deep into this... Have you ever wondered if the two of them are actually already in a relationship and everyone else is a fool for thinking that this is still in the making and that the two of them are just in denial? I mean, come on, if you have come this far, you are either under my own margin of thought or just sitting there with a stupid grim grin on your face looking horribly smug. Either way, it's time to address the real issue. That's right... I didn't fucking make this because I wanted to make this ship real. No, you fool. It's already real. You need to capture what's actually happening, alright? 

Presenting you the scenario that they are both in denial about this is just oddly... convenient for them, isn't it? Just think about it for a second... They are master manipulators... All this time, they have been shipped, but if they already are in a relationship, then it means that they are toying with the audience quite clearly. In other words, they have faked to be in denial. That's what I'll need you to believe initially. Not only is this the takedown of a facade, but it's also the beginning of a conspiracy theory. The title itself is bait, after all.

Realistically speaking, has it ever come across you as strange that Haro just takes breaks randomly when he's in the chatroom? You might think that he's on YouTube or something. Why is that? Because he posts YouTube videos a lot. Stop thinking that I'm overthinking, creature, proceed with this mission!!! Anyway, by posting a lot of YouTube videos, one would assume that he wastes a lot of time on YouTube, but... What if that's actually not the case at all? What if that's just a stacked lie that's there so you won't suspect that he's actually dming Fyo? Strange? Well, let's go over Fyo's side a bit. Here is something that you might not know about her. Fyo only makes her presence be noticed whenever she wants. You would think that whenever she decides to upvote IS the time that she's available to be online, but, oh no. Oh no. No, no. Just no. That could not be so not true but it is. To make things better, Fyo and Haro are online at practically the same time, dead hours. However, they won't do it in the chatroom. That's way too open. Come on now... It's obvious... You gotta think ahead in time for this. If not in the chatroom, then where? DMS. Also, Haro's songs... Are they just random posts...? I actually have tried to confirm this doubt of mine and ran a test under the assumption that the songs were meant to Fyo and there are just so many songs with lines that make the absurdest of all senses, I swear. Nonetheless, we had no way of knowing, so the average person would just think that Haro is posting songs out of existential depression.

Odd. Haro goes to sleep by the time that Fyo starts to get really active. Without fail. No one would suspect that Haro would actually be online because the user, at that point, is a slave to thinking that that's just his pattern of sleep. And furthermore, if Fyo is active, then she wouldn't have time to answer dms. Until you start to notice the lack of coherency and that she's a slow replier. But then you also notice that this isn't always the case and that Fyo can actually be a very fast replier. How would one reply to this argument, however? The answer would be this one: 

"Cloud, if I reply slowly, it's because I'm on my phone and it's natural to be slower at delivering replies while on mobile than being on my laptop."

A perfectly stacked lie. The layer is the following: this is a fact that no one can disagree with. Human beings are slaves to evidence and you, being a Disqus user, is under the impression that this truth is irrefutable. Yet, what if this change of pattern is actually due to the fact that she's dming Haro? You wouldn't suspect Haro, because Haro is not fucking active! It's way too well-thought, no matter how you look at it. However... Is it impossible for them? Consider the individuals once again, please. Highly skilled manipulators who take advantage of soft-hearted people all over the place. Do you know why you are doubting my reasoning right now? It's not because it doesn't make sense, because it does, it's because you are soft-hearted. You don't question everything. That's why you are still not believing me. More proof? Fine, why not.

Whenever they are shipped, they often engage in sarcastic endeavors. They never deny it. NOT ONCE. So strange though. If they don't deny it, then... How come no one capitalized on it? That's due to the fact that no one actually cared about it. According to common sense, if they reply with sarcasm or some sort of cryptic sense of irony, it's because they are mocking whoever is shipping them. This would be the standard point of view. But, isn't this a form of flirting if they are actually in a relationship already? The individual who shipped them is under the impression that he/she is the target of Haro/Fyo's sarcasm. Meanwhile, the truth is, it was actually substantial flirting. You done goofed. 

Another one: Back when Fyo and Xibal actually pretended to be in a relationship for a while, or rather, any sort of "relationship" that Fyo had, Haro never interfered. ...Actually, now that I think about it, his activity slightly decreased every time that happened. The worst part here is that if I take into account that every time that happens, Haro's activity drops, then by connecting that factor with the possibility of jealousy, I... No, wait. Get this first. Haro would get jealous, but Fyo would never do that in the first place if it was without his consent. This means that it was under his own consent and that Xibal got more played than he thought. Oh, my boy, if you are reading this, I will pray for you every night from now on. If I'm not making much sense, allow me to concretely explain this theory then.

Theoretically, if Fyo and Haro are in a relationship and are constantly dming each other, then... Imagine this... This could be mindblowing to some, but please keep up. All this time, every time Fyo got into a "relationship" with Fallen, Whese, and Xibal, if they were in a relationship, Haro and Fyo, then what are the odds of this being a part of their play? What if Fallen, Whese, and Xibal, were played way more than they thought they were? They wouldn't consider that because Fyo alone gave enough justifications to end the "relationships", henceforth, there would never be a necessity to even question if they were played any further! They had no clue. How could they have guessed that Haro was somehow involved?! They couldn't. Why would you suspect Haro in the first place? Honestly though, if you thought about it, you would link his activity drop with Fyo's endeavor and ultimately grasp the possibility of Fyo and Haro teaming up just to make this work. We all know Haro is a massive fucking troll and that he's a godlike manipulator, what is there to doubt? Oh right, you wouldn't think that Fyo would do all of that on her own, because Fyo did all the acting. Fyo was the puppet and Haro was the string master. Holy fuck, now I feel bad for the three of you JESUS CHRIST. Fallen would never consider this because he thought he was dealing with Fyo only all along. Whese was too obsessed to even notice. Hell, if he knew he would probably just--- You know what, let's not fucking go there loooooool. As for Xibal, my guy, you did not deserve such treatment. I hope you don't read any of this, otherwise, you are in for some hardcore depression. Then again, it's routine for you at this point, so it's all Gucci. The Virgo curse is yet another diversion. Fyo's simply adding more layers to her lies while Haro silently watches over the shadows. I'm not sure how you are gonna make an argument that you two aren't made for each other when this shit happens? Good game.

Vis-a-vis with the situation at hand, ergo, being shipped constantly, they are already thinking on how to counter these statements that I made. Yet know this; I am done for. Why? That's because I'm already dealing with my own demise. My valiant effort of making this whole thing a clickbait can only delay them for so long. The best ship that will continue to allude the audience for as long as it takes. Ever wondered why Fyo helped Mal out so much? It's because it gives way more light to the Malshion ship instead of the Fyro ship. They might call me a psycho, but against these two, I'm a goddamn saint, I swear. Though, you get the point, right?

IT'S ALL FUCKING STAGED.

No matter the occasion, be on the look for their interactions, as they skillfully manipulate your thought process with every intriguing word they carefully decide to choose just to masterfully toy with you around. As you finish reading this, you are on the verge of laughing if not already. You won't believe any of this. Time will go by and you will slowly think about this and start to connect the dots. 

Will you still be laughing for the same reason?