Malnt Rushmore

Fun fact? Did you know that Mal means "evil" in Portuguese?! Oh wow, you didn't know that?! Damn, you do now! As a mat--- Sorry, no more bad humor, I just had to break the ice on my own. Everyone knows this is about Mal, so let's get started.

At a point in time, I considered making a "Why Rushion and Mal just works", but it's pretty pointless because the whole world just knows. Unless you are a worthless irrelevant lifeforce who refuses to upvote for whatever retarded reason you could possibly bring up. I even considered making a video, but holy fuck, would you look at that?! Expressing my own thoughts via writing is much easier! Well, that's actually not the reason. I'm just too lazy to shave, sorry. 

Given that statement, what shall I be doing today to honor Mal's birthday? I did think about taking a screenshot of every Rushion content just to please her in a very explicit way. I even went to the part where I requested everyone's true wishes to Mal, but holy shit, I barely have any Discord friends! No wonder I'm labeled as anti-social. However, I don't need any of that. Because, firsts and foremost, this is a room dedicated to Mal. Although, it will really just be a message to Mal and that will be all. Except not, I lied just now. I would like for you, Mal, to always come back here when you feel lost in doubt and distrust. Arguably speaking, this is about the most honest and kind-hearted thing I'm about to do. I am even in a good mood because I was actually finishing reading Akame Ga Kill and I read the additional chapter that was released not so long ago which left me in tears. Hey, did you know that there is a sequel to it? No, I'm not talking about Akame Ga Kill: ZERO, but the actual sequel! I was never aware of it until a few seconds ag- Okay, okay, let me just take a deep breath!

First of all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO TO YOUUUUU!!! I could've written a damn long essay on this but what the hell was the point when I can just make a room for my own thoughts just to flex my authority, am I right?! Bet you didn't think that you would still be alive on Disqus, correct? Well, if I was in your position, I also wouldn't think that being on Disqus, especially when it just keeps on degrading so hard, would be possible. Unless there was just some chatroom owner out there so desperate for users to the point of lurking dead chatrooms just to bring users back in the hope they reply. Frankly speaking, you and Rushion have origins when it comes to the chatroom. This isn't assuming that you two haven't discussed this or anything, but in the case that you haven't, here are the similarities. 

I decided to tag you once I found your profile in one of the comments' upvotes. At the time, I was looking for users who I didn't remember because if I were to tag old users, in other words, Discord fags, it would not work. Chances were therefore very slim. Nonetheless, you actually answered! And for that, I'm forever thankful. I said that you and Rushion were similar in this aspect, right? Time to get equality down. Did I already mentioned how anti-social I am and how even though I'm the owner, I barely have any friends on Discord due to my distant personality?! Well, I kept my brother Rushion and ghosted several of his messages because I was a fucking edgelord who loved to ghost everyone. Nevertheless, I went out of my way to request his assistance. Honestly speaking though, I wasn't expecting anything positive from all the tagging and the messages. Because my ego got shattered the moment Naomi ghosted me on Discord. Now that shit hit the club. I'm still not over that. It's the type of shit you remember at 3 am or when you are trying to fall asleep. It's that bad. Anyway, truth said and done, you both came to my assistance which already proves how highly loyal you two were and are. 

Despite this, I keep letting Rushion down with my impulsive decisions, such as Whese drama and whatnot. It's one thing to imagine Haro's disappointed rest face looking at my impulsive irrational comments through his screen and it's one whole new thing to imagine Rushion facepalming over my decisions. I carry a lot of stress, to be fair. And so do you, for completely different reasons, Mal. To this day, I owe you quite a lot. Sheer stark contrast aside, you do come to the chatroom every now and then and your sense of humor is extremely funny. The puns you make with your name are beyond hilarious. I do enjoy how you are always willing to start a conversation even when the chatroom's activity is deader than love for turtles. Sincerely, there is much about you that you wouldn't consider due to your pessimism and even though these are just digital words, you should by now know that those in the chatroom, that know you and have stuck with you, will never give up on you. When you are down and faulty about yourself, we will reach you without fail. Yes, our names aren't Rushion, but this doesn't mean that we won't do anything about you. 

You might think that we go through the lengths that we do for Rushion's sake, but it's half-half. It's for your sake and his sake. It's common to question the foundation of a person's actions and when they do it for your sake unless you are brain dead, you will question it. Hence why I'm explaining it now. And when it doesn't involve Rushion, it means it's all for you. We won't betray you. Not now nor never. Surely, if you are aware of the recent dramas that unfortunately happened in the chatroom, you would know that I have a thing about betrayals as I don't deal with them in a mature way and I would rather have nothing to do with whoever betrays my goals. I'll say this now, we will never do that to you. Life may be impermanence but to us, you are more than that.

Recalling a bit now, the Internet is quite manipulative, am I right? You could be reading words that are authentically false and the worst part is that the main aim isn't even to inflict torment, but to provoke a sense of control from the orchestrator. It's a funny thing because it was through the Internet that you and Rushion met. If I hadn't invited you two to the chatroom, this would have never happened. That's why I'll make things right for you any time, same with Rushion. I truly believe that physical contact in a relationship is far more stimulating than pixels on your screen. Even a voice isn't enough. Actual contact is mind-blowingly effective in retrospect. Regarding another thing, your family issues, allow me to provide something that I've been meaning to talk about but forgot when I did those videos. By the way, I will make any necessary videos with my bad English in it, if it means that your mood can be restored or slightly healed. Same with Rushion.

What I wanted to talk about when it comes to family is something that can essentially be considered "impractical", however, it's a reality check which can help you move on from some doubts, so here it goes. Let's start off with the obvious. I am aware that Asian parents and European parents are clearly worlds apart. I'm not here blindly implying that I am gonna lump both stereotypes together when mashing them up only backfires in the long run. Sometimes we like to think that everything is gonna be alright and that your parents are suddenly gonna stop bothering you once you are adult because you are then on your own. It's the complete opposite. You only think about that idea if they have been pressuring you for a while. Yet, does anyone even ask if the pressure is gonna stop once you are an adult? The answer is clearly no. Emotional support to an emotional person means the absolute world to the person. However, if the person does not get emotional support, then it gets incredibly hard to overall function. I've always thought in my early years of life that every human being is heavily dependent on their own family until the day they die because, after all, who else brought you to this world except your father and mother, right? It didn't even cross me that I was actually an outcast when it came to this circumstance since I never received any moral/emotional support from my family. Hence, you gotta really ask yourself something just how big is your heart and just how far are you willing to go for those who don't even go that far for you. My point here is; no matter who it is, even if their blood is coursing through your veins, you owe absolutely fucking nothing to those who don't attribute equivalence towards your level of affection. 

Yet this is all idealism. If the aim here was to produce such a mediocre result as to tell you something that you are already aware of, then there would be no point. Your happiness can't fully come from being by yourself or staying away from your loved ones in order to tame the beast that's inside you. Take this from someone who has a dual personality. Call it cringe if you want, but I have a really dark side that I dare not show anyone. See, in this scenario, isn't everyone like this? Yes, you could argue that their dark side potency for cruelty/psychotic acts is potentially slightly inferior compared to yours, but this was never a competition, right? You'd be surprised by how much of a psycho Rushion actually is, despite his saint-like stance 99% of the time. Give it time and he'll show it to you, and then, you won't have to feel like a complete outcast. It's hard to be who you really are when there are no others who accept that wicked side of yours. Though, what about us? Do you actually think we won't? We are not saints, lmao. But, I can't say the same with those who you have to be around in your daily life. They might not even give you the rightful birthday words that you need. Yeah, that you need, not that you deserve. I've talked about how worthless the concept of worth is, correct? Ironic, because I said worthless and talked about worth. Only those that matter to you are those that go through the same lengths as you and whoever doesn't is therefore irrelevant. Perhaps cold-hearted, but if it's happiness you are looking for, then it's the most effective method. Being emotionally selective and doing anything to make sure that that selection exists; and that it doesn't stay in your mind only. It took me quite a few years to grasp this concept on my own and I owe it to someone who I'll never be able to repay her back. Just so you know, self-blame isn't a justification for hypothetical situations, it's an excuse. Self-blame aside, try conducting something real, even if in your mind it results in a disaster. I know for a fact that after an experience that went terribly wrong, the mind begins to associate that experience with every other upcoming experience. Mal, Mal, that's called PTSD, and anyone that doesn't show comprehension towards that event deserved to be slaughtered. You bucket-head, you are in a chatroom full of users who have trust issues, myself included, that are nonetheless learning to trust again. This world may make you feel like an utter outcast sometimes, but that state of being is optional because it's all an option. To consider the option is one thing. To make the choice is another. And you have all the right in the world to make your own choices independent of your own past. If you can't make choices independently without feeling the need to recall all your negative experiences, then are you free? Are you even yourself? Or are you the accumulation of all the negative experiences that have happened to you? Don't say yes. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT. Haven't you had enough with this? It's repetitive and there's only so much that you can't take of this without driving you insane. Telling yourself that you are already insane isn't gonna help it either, for the record. There is no TRUE freedom in that. Freedom is highly misconceived as physical liberty yet what I'm talking about is mental liberty. Stimulation born from the ignition. Can you feel that way when your mind is shackled from every angle? If not, then can your mind even be saved? The answer is no. In the retrospect, this approach will only rot your own mind to a darker place. SO, how to get out? I mean if it's so easy for me to say this, then what's the deal? Hehe, alright, here is the truth. You gotta actually fucking want to get out. If you feel attached to what the past has to offer to you, then you won't move forward. See that the past has offered you a lot of bad things and capitalize on that. Afterward, curse it. Fuck all this gossip. Fuck this stupid endless trivia of what we have to do and what we should do. Are we not fucking here on this planet on our own and if so, why must others command us when we are the owners and embodiments of our existence?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. So, when you feel left out and sorry about everything you have done, it's time you start looking to the possibilities ahead and who is willing to go through that future with you instead of those who are stuck in their own pasts and promote negative ways of thinking. To defeat the negative mindset, your mind needs a reboot. Here is something factual that I owe to the same person I mentioned again: Your past, you have lived it. There's no erasing it. You are living the present and it's scary because one wrong move and it's all over. If you don't know the future, then you rely on the past, correct? Get this though. I realize that relying on the future itself comes from a supreme sense of belief and that NOT MANY are capable of this. You need something called "vision". This life, trust me, this life is a damn prison if you don't have a vision. Vision, as it implies, is the inner ability to look into what you could offer to your own future. Belief is necessary, henceforth, I beg of you, BELIEVE. Without belief, life is a dark place. It does sound extremely cliched, but do you actually believe that successful and happy people do NOT depend on belief? Trust me, it's their lifeline. For me to be happy and for others to be happy, they need to believe in something. What can you believe to make yourself happy? Hey, isn't there something for you head-on? For instance... Meeting up with Rushion when the time comes? Isn't that a worthy goal to keep in mind? Just think about it, think about it. THINK ABOUT MALNT RUSHMORE! Moving on though, take a quick look in the mirror and slap your own two face cheeks and say to yourself that you are actually gonna believe that you can achieve. No matter how many times it takes. Giving up is the equalizer of death itself. You might feel like this is all a stretch, but this is what you need when you feel sad inside with too much pain to fight against. Never lose sight of hope. You're in it to win it, so don't bring yourself down. It's not others who can inflict the most damage to you, but it's only you, realistically speaking, that can. 

Before ending this, I feel like I should end this on a high note and apologize for having called you a bitch in that video on my YouTube channel. Even if it wasn't actually serious, I gotta explain the part where in my mind, I found the rationality to call you that, otherwise, it's pretty much an incomplete argument. Honestly, I did believe that what you did to Rushion back then was a bitch move, hence why I called you a bitch. Only for that reason. I'm supremely loyal to my bro here. Remember a few days ago when you offered me praise and I just had to deny it because I wouldn't want Rushion to get the wrong idea in the odd case that he was lurking? I'm serious about this. I don't actually find it funny when another bro's girl compliments me and I just accept it. No, no, no. And before you call me an idiot, understand this. True bros, do NOT accept other bros' girls' compliments for the reason of preserving their loyalty. In other words, I was just exercising my loyalty to Rushion. Did I mention how we have been shipped dozens of times? Be glad I don't live in the Philippines or else not even the Pandemic would stop me from chasing that thick male Pinoy ass down th-- Nevermind all that, you get the point, aye? But yes, I will never again call you that. I didn't know your side of the story back then, so it was an impulsive reaction from me. I also just happen to be the biggest Malshion shipper on this planet. No offense to you, but if you were to, hypothetically speaking, try to compete with me when it comes to knowing just why Mal and Rushion are made for each other, I will own your ass with facts and logic, BITCH! 

OH FUCK, I DID IT AGA-